The 4 years

Oh wow. I haven't logged into this blog for ages and it seems to have changed a lot. Like... HOW DO I POST THIS?

Anyway, I am writing this post a day before I officially end university (no, it is not a bragging post), because I reflect back... and making it here, today- I have everything to thank God for. In every phase in life we face difficulties, and in my 20+ years, the past 4 years were the toughest, loneliest and yet the most fun and exciting experience. Every day felt like a roller coaster ride and being a person who hates studying, this just made it even more loop-py-loop!

First, I would like to clarify something. Unis in Sg are not that elitist. To those who have bad grades, PRAY HARD. PRAY SUPER HARD. Miracles happen. Just to give you a peek of my A level results, it was bad enough until I regretted going JC and had planned to retake A levels (by bad I mean Cs and not Bs). To those studying, this does not give you an excuse to not study. I am a bad example...
That aside, I still got offered a position at not one- but 3 unis- and it could only be a work of God.

Two. I am actually happy that I didn't get fantastic grades back then, if not I would have landed up in a course that I'd have to memorize and apply formulas to. I hate that! A natural reaction to bad grades would be to question God... but all God wants is to bless His children. He knows that future, and He gives us things that will only bring us happiness in the future. You may not know or think that it is the best situation or "blessing" at that moment but under all circumstances, His blessings are intended to bring joy into our lives on earth.

Three. There are moments in life where you feel alone, because uni is a place where people just think of you as a threat to their grades... but I'm glad that I was put in a course where the Christian network is strong, the professors are strong Christians and they meet once a week to chill off and just sing praise and worship to God in some secluded of the school. It is exceptional to have such a relationship with your profs because when you are doing badly they go, "Just remember God is walking with you every step of the way... don't give up, you'll find a way out." The feeling is just... awesome. really awesome.

Four. God puts you in a certain place or position to bless another, even in the littlest ways. I think I mentioned before in a previous post that I touched someone's life 2/3 years back and it is cool to receive a compliment like this. During a recent event, some "graduation from hostel" thing, someone gave me a letter saying, "Thank you for being such an inspiration to me, those songs that you blasted through your song list 2 years back have always been a source of refuge to me." I took a look at my song list and a majority of them are Hillsongs... so...

Five. The most painful year was the past academic year... I am not afraid to admit that the pain is sometimes so overwhelming that I contemplate suicide. Erm.. this is where accountability and support from cell groups come in... A special shout out to the tertiary cell for being there, doing stupid things for me, experiments, listening to my complaints, crapping on whatsapp... it reminds me there is so much to live, and love- and academics are not everything. TO MY CELL GROUP: THIS IS WHY I ASK YOU HOW ARE YOU LAHHHH. JUST REPLY ME CAN. DON'T MAKE ME WORRIED AND NAGGY LIKE NOWWWW.

To end off...
Psalm 50:15"And call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me."


tomorrow, 1115am, please pray that everything will go well so I can graduate with my sub-par grades. LOL.